creating ritual with children
As we approach a new year, I know many of us want to bring more magic into our every day, want to see more wonder in the small moments of life. Ritual can be a potent way to do so for ourselves and our children.
I’ve been sharing rituals with my now 8-year-old twins since they were very young. I’ve learned so much over the years and am happy to share what works (and doesn’t work) for me and my kiddos. And honestly, all that I share here applies to anyone doing ritual, adults and kiddos alike!
keep it simple.
This is by far the most important thing! Set yourself and your kiddos up for success by not tackling too much. We all know kids’ attention spans so save your deep dive, luxurious, elaborate rituals for yourself and invite your kids into the power of simplicity.
keep it consistent.
This is especially important for teaching kids the art of ritual. Follow a similar flow with each ritual you do together. Open and close the space in the same way each time, make an offering of some kind each time, etc. Consistency is key to helping kids step into sacred space.
keep a clear intention.
What’s your why? Why are you taking the time and space to do ritual together? Why is important? Why does it matter? Discuss and remind your kids of this with every ritual. The why for me and my kids is to connect with all that is bigger than us, to be in relationship with the earth and the elements, to give back and give thanks through offerings, to make space for prayer and intention, to remember that life is sacred.
I hope these reminders help you (and your kiddos) in making more room ritual in your lives. Below is the ritual that my kids and I did together recently on the Winter Solstice.
our winter solstice ritual ✸
Begin by gathering what you’ll need for the ritual — we used a candle, dried herbs to burn for smudging ourselves and the space (we used rosemary and royal sage), and offerings (we offered white flowers, moon blood, and tobacco).
Find a quiet spot outside, in your yard, at a park, or by the river, wherever works for you. Make it as secluded as you have access to.
Open the space by lighting the candle and smudging yourselves and the area around you by burning the dried herbs. Call in any guides, guardians, and ancestors you work with.
Gaze into the candle and talk about how the light is returning, how the sun is being birthed anew on this sacred day.
Close your eyes or gaze softly downward while sitting quietly for a few moments. Then guide your children in reflecting on their intentions for the season ahead. If you’d like, share your intentions aloud with one another.
Lay your offerings on the earth, we started with pouring my moon blood, then sprinkling the tobacco, and finally laying the white flowers on top. Discuss and explain the meaning and significance of each item you are offering.
Close your eyes or gaze softly downward and together thank Mother Earth, the four elements, the four directions, your guides, guardians, and ancestors for all that they do for you. Ask them to hold your prayers and intentions for this next season.
Close the space by again smudging with the dried herbs and blow out the candle. Thank each other for taking the time and space to create ritual together.
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May this next season be blessed and full of wonder for you and yours. May the light within and around you shine brightly.
You can check out a video of the above winter solstice ritual my kiddos and I did together on my IG.
For more on creating ritual with children — listen to episode four of my podcast, A Wave Away, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and listen to an interview with me on Becca Piastrelli’s podcast, Beloning, on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.
Want to learn more about ritual and create sacred space together with me? You can book an in-person or virtual ritual with me on my website. Kiddos are always welcome!
1 — Pixie Lighthorse’s new book, “The Wound Makes The Medicine: Elemental Remediations for Transforming Heartache”. She is one of my all-time favorite writers and this book is absolute magic.
2 — Buying myself white flowers. They capture the essence of winter for me and it feels like a lovely way to treat myself. I got some white lilies the other day that smell divine.
3 — Talk Easy Podcast. It’s so great, I’ve listened to it for years. I deeply admire Sam Fragoso’s interviewing style.
4 — Being off of IG. I’ve been off since mid-December and it’s been amazing. I have to say I haven’t missed it a bit. I’m hopping back on quickly to share a video of the winter solstice ritual my kiddos and I did together, but am planning to stay off it for at least a few more weeks. Maybe you want to try taking a social media break too? If so, I hope it nourishes you.
Until soon loves,
Waverly